Monday, February 28, 2011

UNRELATED: Top 10 Beers (If you enjoy "Becks" or "Stella," move along)

Now, obviously, this is just some jackass with a blog's opinion. Not to mention, beer taste is totally subjective. You can take all your fancy, dark, "tasteful," "i drank this in germany," "i like hoppy beer" opinions to some microbrew blog for refined douchebags. If I'm drinking beer, I'm drinking it for two reasons: 1) to heighten my experience while dining at a mediocre Mexican establishment or 2) to get mind-numbingly intoxicated. I don't want a beer that tastes like a 5 course meal. Onto the list:

1) Amstel Light - Crisp, light, has a unique taste, comes in a well-insulated bottle. If I am at a wedding that is serving Amstel Light, that is what I am drinking all night, open bar or not.

2) Natural Light - Tastes like water? So what? Who the hell doesn't drink water? First of all, its nowhere near as water-y as detractors make it out to be. It still has a substantial Bud Light flavor to it. And at less than 8 dollars for a 12-pack and never more than $15 for a 30 pack, its the best value in brew.

3) Coors Light - Huge development in my beer-swilling habits of late: Coors Light recently ended Bud Light's 10-year reign as my domestic light beer of choice when a) out at a bar or b) needing to provide beer to a female that is thoroughly disgusted and turned off by Natty Light.

4) Bud Light - I will always enjoy Bud Light and have no idea why Coors Light supplanted it (uggh, I truly feel bad for anyone still reading down this far).

5) Bud Select - You cannot convince me there is a difference between Bud Select and Natty Light. Same "water-y" taste as declared by the masses. Same caloric content (95). Same distributors. Perhaps if any person I knew actually drank these two beers, someone else besides me might notice this.

6) Heineken - Closest beer to a premium that I'll drink and actually enjoy over a good ole domestic.

7) Brooklyn Lager - Yes, this is a gay microbrew from Williamsburg, Brooklyn of all places. But it doesn't try to overdo it with hops, spices and anything else that makes the brewmasters at Sam Adams nut their pants. Just a strong American beer. Yet to meet one person who has tried this beer and hasn't become a fan.

8) Coors - Best of all the non-light domestics, narrowly edging the original Budweiser. Thought I must admit I have never had a Miller Genuine Draft. That should change soon.

9) Miller Lite - It's a light, moderately priced American beer. It makes the list. However you would describe that distinct flavor that Miller Lite ads always tout is precisely the reason I have it so much lower than Bud/Coors Light on my list. It's also why Miller Lite drinkers are fiercely loyal to that brand, more so than fans of the other two are.

10) Sweetwater Blue - I really enjoy one, maybe two of these. Anything more than that leaves a bitter and sticky aftertaste in your mouth Yes, I know its a female beer (ask me, any Sweetwater falls under that category). At least I didn't go the Corona/Blue Moon route. Fruit in your beer? Please son.

One more thing: PBR tastes like ass...I don't get that one at all.

3 comments:

  1. That list is good. Mine is as follows:

    1. Blue Moon
    2. Southhampton pale ale
    3. Corona Light
    4. Amstel Light
    5. Bud Light
    6. Michelob Ultra
    7. Sweetwater Blue
    8. Red Brick summer ale
    9. coors light
    10. brookylen lager

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have to hand it to you. You were able to assign different values to a group of beers that have few distinguishing qualities and make it entertaining to read. Nice work.

    ReplyDelete
  3. MGD- out it in the freezer and let it get a little slushy...my Inglewood posse showed this one to me and I have to admit its pretty tasty and oddly appropriate when you are sitting on a stoop in the ghetto

    PBR- can and bottles (gross) tap not so bad...im just sayin'

    ReplyDelete