Macaroni Grill - Bringing the Old Country to the Suburbs

After a night of heavy drinking, very few foods ease a hangover like pasta. Similarly, on a morning of looking and smelling like you were steamrolled by a pack of wild chimps, it is advised that one avoids a nicer dining establishment (and post-church crowds at all costs). It was with these truths in mind that my baby mama, our kid (who, no worries, did not participate in the previous night’s festivities) and I set out to eat lunch at a chain Italian restaurant.

We decided upon Macaroni Grill, because choosing Olive Garden just feels like you’ve thrown away your dignity. You may as well book your next meal at ‘Folks.’ Also, after years of seeing the overly-exuberant, cheezy, truly happy families in Olive Garden commercials, not to mention our mood and appearance that morning, we simply did not belong there. Also, Macaroni Grill had no wait…a must for dining at a chain restaurant in my eyes.

If you have a kid with you, the Macaroni Grill experience is a good distractor. Fresh fish displays, open kitchens, and most importantly, paper table cloths that the kids can draw all over. Our kid is not a big fan of going out to eat at non-McDonald’s or Chick-fil-A joints, so the fact she was able to sit through an entire meal at a sitdown restaurant without getting antsy is a testament to the handful of crayons, plethora of white table space , and her newfound interest in tic-tac-toe.

My first impression upon sitting down was the new menu. In the past (easily 3+ years since I had been to a Macaroni Grill), I recall a large, diverse, Olive Garden/Carrabbas style menu. Their new menu was a one-sheeter, with all food items on front, drinks on back. First thing I noticed was the “Italian Tapas” at the top of the menu.

Now, I love Italian food. I can even get over an Italian Restaurant capitalizing on the overpriced-small-portion craze that has overtaken many trendy neighborhood restaurants all over the country. But between ‘Italian Tapas’ and Olive Garden now offering Paninis on their everyday menu, the average Italian chain restaurant has as much old-country authenticity as a ‘Godfather’ remake filmed in Wyoming.

(Not that this is always a bad thing. I remember my first visit to a genuine Little Italy eatery in NYC involved me staring in horror at an appetizer consisting of cantaloupe wrapped in prosciutto. At that moment I wanted nothing more than mozzarella sticks, authenticity be damned.)

Back to Macaroni Grill- We of course fell for the tapas gimmick, going for the “baked prosciutto and mozzarella” (excellent) and the “shrimp, cannellini bean and avocado crostini” (terrible, even the female I was with – who of course ordered that non-italian item- concurred…seriously, avocado at an Italian restaurant?). Between these tapas and the bread, we were stuffed. So soon after our food came, we were going the doggy bag route and purposefully making cheezy jokes to the waiter about how “well now I know what I’m having for dinner!!”

2 more quick notes: the Bibb and Blue salad (bibb leaves, blue cheese, pancetta, walnuts, pickled red onions, buttermilk dressing, grilled chicken) was excellent…just make sure to get the dressing on the side. They poured enough on there to make me consider asking if I could buy more lettuce. Also, for the first time ever, my companion ordered spaghetti and meatballs…the least expensive entrée on the menu. Naturally, it was delicious, and even though the same dish could have been made at home for roughly $3, her not perusing the menu, pointing at the 2^nd most expensive thing on there and saying “ooooh…that looks good!” was a small victory for me. Unfortunately, I doubt she could say the same as I shoveled my salad into a to-go box.