Like an amusement park ride that looks really cool but is likely way more trouble than the actual payoff, themed and specialty burgers at fast food joints is just one of those things you want to try. “Hey,” you say to yourself as your couch surfing, observing a commercial featuring a new sandwich with two ½-pound patties, onion rings, barbeque sauce and topped with a fried egg. “There’s no way that shit could be bad!”
Alleged part-time “food critics” at Complex.com mention that the Burger King Stuffed Steakhouse, “has a smoky hit to it.” No, I believe the word you’re looking for there is “burnt.” Distinctly burnt with a minor hint of stomach-churn grease.
Ever since the Food Network aired a special about The Good Dog – and a few other local restaurants – in Philadelphia that stuffed their beef patties with all kinds of cheeses and ingredients before serving piping hot with cheese like magma flowing out from the meat’s pores to the public, it seems “stuffed” and “pockets filled with” is the new craze with hamburgers. Like gourmet, overpriced cupcakes before it, and the Atkins diet before that, I expect this craze will die down somewhat, especially when mutants of the concept are born of exceptional stupidity and greed with a complete lack of attention towards quality or taste.
Moving back to our analogy, we can safely say that the Stuffed Steakhouse is the steep-drop waterslide of fast food burgers. Sure, the concept of having pockets of cheese and jalepenos stuffed into your patty may seem like a good idea, just as the steep drop and considerable velocity make the straight-down water slide seem like a good idea.
So try it once, but in the end you don’t want to wait in line just to have water shot up your ass…or out of it.
I think you're being a bit over dramatic here. You're talking about a three dollar sandwhich, not a communist plot. Nonetheless, I enjoy your use of metaphor and hope you keep entertaining us with future posts.
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